To Mr. /Ms. V. Jno. Charles & Co.: An Open Reply
By Rev Dr William Watty
Let me first of all thank you for your open letter, the first from you, I believe, and the last I fervently hope; and, through you, thanks to that vast multitude of silent, invisible, anonymous followers I had no idea even existed until they decided unanimously to abandon me, so disappointed were they with my contribution to the SUN of August 15. Dominicans are, however, a strange and a strangely resilient people. I therefore have every confidence that they will get over the disappointment in no time. But, as for me, I am so devastated by this sudden abandonment of fans I never knew existed; you cannot fathom my depression.
Let me also thank you for including me among the miracle-workers. I seem to have read many years ago something about "gilding refined gold" and "painting the lily". I never expected that I would find myself in that illustrious company, being accused of befouling what was already foul. I can therefore only wait now to be arrested and charged for the willful and pre-meditated slaughter of an innocent and harmless corpse that never annoyed, threatened or provoked me.
But let me get to the salient point of your objection and the disappointment of that vast throng of erstwhile unheard-of followers. How do I know that the interview was a set-up? Well, first of all, tell me, what interview was ever worth listening to that was not a set-up? But that apart, did you count the number of times Mr. Linton pleaded with the interviewer to move on to the purpose of the interview as was stated in the Letter of Invitation from the Manager of DBS, viz. the Budget? And did you notice her insistence on her prerogative, as the interviewer, to ask whatsoever questions she chose whenever she pleased, and it was not for the interviewee to dictate the agenda according to his desire or convenience? If you missed those sharp exchanges then we were not tuned in to the same programme because, you see, I bow to the interviewer's prerogative, and I give her every benefit of the doubt. I have no doubt that the Budget was on her agenda, and that she had every intention of bringing it into the discussion. It was, in fact, the very next item that would immediately follow Mr. Linton's inevitable departure. That was the plan (since you abhor the word "set-up"). And how do I know? I know because up to this morning I still heard her interviewing on DBS. She has not been fired.
Last but not least. I must congratulate you on your lethal response to my description of the National Stadium as a White Elephant that cannot earn its upkeep. Your argument, I have to admit, is most impressive. Yes, there are several of these White Elephants in the Caribbean in a similar predicament. I take your logic, therefore, to mean that if my White Elephant is one of a herd of a hundred Elephants also white, then it stands to reason that mine might not be really an Elephant, but something else, perhaps an overgrown Buffalo or, you can never tell, it probably was not all that white, anyway, but only mulatto. The defence rests…in peace.